Angela Types

I have not updated my blog in quite some time. I am ashamed.  And I don't have time to post something so wonderful that you'll love me again. So, instead please enjoy this apple pie I baked. Here's the recipe too, straight from Martha's website. Angela's tips: Personally, I like to slice the apples as uniformly as possible and I reserve one or two apples for cutting into inch (ish) cubes. I find that this gives the pie a crunchier texture and is more impressive looking when you slice it. And that's really why you're baking an apple pie, isn't it? Also, I use freshly grated nutmeg. You can get whole nutmegs from whole foods for just a few cents. You only need one. Also, I recently discovered that a food processor makes crust making a breeze! It's is extremely important that your butter and water are SUPER cold. For you sciencey nerds out there, lemme 'splain. When the crust mixture is blended you deposit little pieces of butter and water int

It is about effing time that someone came out with a dance song paying homage to Mick Jagger. Barbara Streisand has one and she isn't even known for her bad ass moves like Mick is- although bitch can werk, don't get me wrong. Thumbs up to Adam Levine for this slightly-auto-tuned basstastic make ya head bob number. I could do with less verse, a little more Cristina (and waay fewer clothes on her) and a lot more of Jagger's actual moves. And the two singers (Levine and Aguilera) don't actually move like Jagger, what gives? Isn't there a show that teaches celebrities how to dance? Oh wait, is that the show they host? I can't keep up. Either way, Mick Jagger wins. And either way I'll hate this song in about a week so let's just enjoy it for now. The boys of Duck Sauce did a much better job of showing their love to Barbara though. Check it out below. Imma wait for a song showing some love for Bowie. Check out this collection of David Bowie's best move

There are a ton of very interesting things going on tonight in Dallas. So many that I decided to blog about what I consider your top four best bets for tonight.  If you're super caffeinated you can make two of the four events! I've paired them below in no particular order of awesomeness. Oh, and go ahead and accept that you're gonna be tired tomorrow. But it's Friday, nobody really does any work on Friday. 1. Bastille on Bishop DOWN WITH FEUDALISM! or something. but in French. Why people in the Bishop Arts District want to celebrate Bastille Day is beyond moi, but I'm always down with lots of butter- and those French are never too shy with the butter. So, bust out that striped shirt and your beret and mime your way over to the Bishop Arts district for tons of activities, including the 2nd annual Mussel Competition. There are top chefs from local fine restaurants that will be serving up mussels for judges in three waves. I hate to say it, but if you don&#

I have wished for a very long time that people came with model-specific user guides. A helpful "Best Practices in maintaining friendship" if you will, and more importantly a cautionary list of "Best-not-to's". In an effort to encourage the documentation of these things by the people I love, I have endeavored to compile a  warning label  user guide to being friends with me.  I'll start with the basic warnings 1. Never give me a key to your house. Sure I'll walk your dog/feed your cat/ probably  water your plants. But is it really worth it if you have me show up occasionally at 7:30am on Saturday morning because no one else is awake and I know I can literally shake you out of bed to have breakfast with me? Sure it is! 3 out of 397 facebook friends agree/can't get their key back from me. Side note: should you actually give me a copy of your house key it is best to make it an obnoxious color or print that I can easily associate with you. I've got

Yesterday President Barack Obama proclaimed June 2011 as national LGBT Pride Month . " Each June, we commemorate the courageous individuals who have fought to achieve this promise for LGBT Americans, and we rededicate ourselves to the pursuit of equal rights for all, regardless of sexual orientation or gender identity."    seriously, I LOVE costumes. LOVE them! I'm not going to lie. I like outrageous glamor in sweltering summer heat, I love glitter in place of a shirt, and I sure as shit love drinking in broad daylight with thousands of my  drunkest  closest friends. You'd think that I would want to LIVE in a gay pride parade. And by any other name I would want to. I'd celebrate surviving 24 hours in this very manner. But June of every year isn't set apart to celebrate glitter and Absolut vodka, (contrary to the belief of many gays under the age of 22). It's not about hooking up with that hottie in gold feathers next to you. No, believe it or not we ar

hope these are taxpayer funded sick bags! I can not tell you how excited I am that the royal nuptials are taking place today. It's not because of the amazingly bad  awesome   royal wedding  souvenirs  that are available either (click that link, you won't be sorry). No, I am counting down the hours to this wedding so that I can quit frakking hearing about it. If I hear one more person use the word "fairytale" I'm gonna need to order one of those Royal Wedding barf bags. Why are Americans so obsessed with the royals and their weddings? It can't just be about the ceremony. Seriously, I mean if Americans  really  cared that much about weddings wouldn't they vote to let  everyone  get married so they can watch even more grotesque hemorrhages of money in the name of love? It's gotta be about the "fairytale". Women (and some of my best gay man mates) are still in love with the idea that some Prince ss  Charming is going to swoop in, sweep them

Remember in high school (or middle school in our tiny town), when they gave you a flour sack or an egg and told you it was a baby? And you had to carry it around for a week and NOT, under any circumstances break it? This was seriously the most difficult thing I had to pretend to do in my MS career. Apparently if you're a MS journalist under deadline and you stuff your stupid sack baby in a locker that you have temporarily named "the nanny" you're a bad parent. Half of the adults I know were raised by a locker called "the nanny" and they're just fine. I don't think I should have been marked off for child abandonment. But I did (allegedly) break the sack of flour by (presumably) dropping the (alleged) "kid" a bazillion times. So, I'll give 'em that. And how could this assignment prepare anyone for raising a child anyway? I come by these butter fingers honestly. My mother once sat my squirming runs-away-all-the-time little brother do

I made a FB fan page for My Fabulous Confabulation. It's just like this blog but with status updates! I know that I have several readers that follow me here that are not on my personal facebook so I thought I would post the link here. Which will automatically post it on the fan page. Which will lead you back to this blog. If at any point you find yourself trapped in the never ending self referencing links please just shut down your computer and go outside. It's nice out there.

This is where I met "Wordy123" I started playing Words with Friends about 9 months ago. If you don't have a phone capable of supporting "Apps" or applications then you may not know what I'm talking about. WWF is Scrabble, but on your smart phone. One of many time wasters available that makes waiting at the doctor's office/oil change place/urinal all that much better.  When I first got WWF I was VERY eager to play. Waiting for my friends to send a word back (which ranged from a play every half hour to every 3 or 4 days) was agonizing. I wanted to play. A lot. So I added a few random opponents while I built up my "people I actually know" opponent list. In my first week I had about 25 games going. I was eating my day away one little letter tile at a time. I would wake up and play a game while I walked Bruce. I'd play while I waited for my english muffin to toast. I'd play while I walked from my car to whatever building I was going t

I have gotten 5 emails from people telling me how funny my craig's list ad was...but not one person actually wanted to buy my damn couch! I also updated the ad to say "text with questions about the couch only" because people were texting me...but not about the couch. Here's the ad. Seriously, let me know if you want to buy my awesome brown couch. It's totally not disgusting. GOOD USED COUCH FROM NON-DISGUSTING PREVIOUS OWNER - $275 (Oak Cliff) Date: 2011-03-27, 6:42PM CDT Reply to:  sale-ykfvb-2290121083@craigslist.org   [ Errors when replying to ads? ] Do you want a used couch that isn't totally freaking disgusting? do you need to save money on a couch but don't want to buy something that is riddled with someone else's germs, spills, secretions, and un-lint-rollable pet hair? LOOK NO FURTHER! I have the couch for you! I am a completely normal person who used the couch for occasional sitting. And when I say occasional, I mean that! I do not even

Last night, after valeting cars in subfreezing temperatures I endeavored to drive myself home during what can only be called a blizzsaster – hey, I'm a Texan. Any amount of precipitation (frozen or not) wreaks havoc on all living things here. We just can't cope. My valet job had me in Arlington, Texas and after my shift I had to get my frozen self home to Oak Cliff , which is a little over 20 miles away. My coworker also lives in the OC (don't call it that) so she used her iPhone to find the path of least resistance for us. You may be wondering why we didn't just get a hotel near the job site. Well, there's a very logical explanation for that. Jerry Jones made a pact with the devil  and has promised the beast the soul of every Dallasite that is not a football fan. With no room at any inn, coworker and I began the slow crouch toward home.  At the very first stop light we encountered we learned two valuable lessons. 1) You need about 20 feet to stop in 4 inches of sn

I am currently waayy under employed. I spend my days emailing my resume and cover letters out to any job I am remotely qualified for. Because almost NO company wants you to call or stop by I can easily email my resume to 15 well researched positions in all of an hour. Two if I take a Diane Rehm break. This leaves me with a lot of free time on my hands. I exercise, I read, I trash my kitchen making food and still it's usually only noon at this point. So like all good Americans, I have started watching TV. On the Internet. After a few 12 hour day-nights of watching every available episode of Bones, Family Guy, American Dad, House, and Fringe available on Hulu I was done. I had nothing left to watch. So, I ventured outside of the "most popular" section of Hulu. I wanted well crafted smart television. Or at least something funny. And since I was spending an embarrassing amount of time watching said shows I needed to find shows with the complete series available. It

Like most lesbians  my ex and I were living together when we broke up. I'm fortunate enough that our split was super amicable (unlike most lesbians) but when all was said and doneskies I found myself living in a two bedroom house I could not afford on my own. Or at all really since I'm currently waaay under-employed . I ran into an old college friend a few weeks after the break up and in catching up it came out that she was wanting to move and I was in need of someone to pay half the rent. So she moved in. Use only on dreadlocks. Not for use by Angela.  Going from living with a partner to living with a roommate has been a very interesting transition for me. But that's a different post. Also, my roommate does not like to be called a roommate. She astutely explained to me that we do not share a room. We share a house. So according to her we're housemates. And I can jive with that. This housemate of mine is from Nigeria originally, and lived in London for a good long

Throughout our lives we artists will have many jobs. Most of these jobs will not be as an artist, either. We will peddle coffee, children's clothes, and even deliver rubber stamps  as Michael Musto did. David Sedaris made a name for himself with the "Santa land Diaries" after working as Crumpet the Elf  at Macy's. And Charles Bukowski is probably the most famous employee of the Post Office. Not to be confused with most INfamous postal employee Patrick Sherill  from Edmond, Oklahoma.  We writers and "artistes" will do almost anything to pay the rent and keep our internet connected. In step with this not particularly unique plight, I too, have had my fair share of bizzarre and annoying jobs. I've worked as an assistant to a mind-numbingly irritating  inventor , booked hair appointments at a salon (kill me), and most recently, I have joined the ranks of the many, the humble, the valets. As a driver who has totalled two vehicles, has night blindness, and ha

A word about service.  I have visited a new coffee shop/restaurant in my neighborhood four times now. I've come early, I've come in the middle of the day, I've even come a half hour prior to close and every time I am confused about where to go/what to do. The place is a coffee shop and a breakfast/brunch spot. This is a natural combination and I'm so happy to see it in Oak Cliff, and only a short bike ride from my house! But I need a bit more coffee shop from them. Or a bit more brunch place from them. I don't know where to put myself when I just want to sit and drink coffee and type. I feel odd taking a table from a server who insists on ordering my soy latte for me. I've tried getting it myself and squatting at a table but this only confuses matters more. And I'm not the only one. I see other uncomfortable squatters trying to figure this situation out. Do not try this at home. It burns the beans and your spoon will never be normal again. A sign on t

I have been searching for something like The Moth  here in Dallas for quite some time. I was convinced it didn't exist and was already making plans to start my own storytelling series here in Oak Cliff. Luckily, I can remain seated at this computer and watch Nicole Stewart and Lacy Lynch do all the work. The duo started a series back in August of 2010 and called it "The Most". I don't know the origins of their series name, or if they're even aware of The Moth series but I do know that I'm thrilled that Dallas has something like this. No offense to my poetry slam pals out there but I really needed a literary event that doesn't involve shouting (reader) or crying (me, because bad poetry is so much worse than bad anything else). And The Moth, er Most has it! "The Most" is a part of Nouveau 47 Theater's   Monday night  Theatre Apprēsh  events which are held at the historic Magnolia Lounge in Fair Park. Last night's theme was "Epic Re