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Words

While researching one of my characters...I stumbled upon this treasure trove of paraphilias Enjoy!

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Morning meanders on, or Attack of the Alliteration

As I'm slopping crunchy bits into Bruce's bowl (and watching his drool drip onto the tile) my cell phone rings. I look at the caller ID, this time it's my boss. "Heey Angela! Good morning!" He sounds like he just woke up. "Hey Schmark (tee hee) good morning." "I'm running a little behind for the morning meeting, but I'm about to walk out the door, sorry about that. I think Schmandrew is running behind too. Has he talked to you this morning? He said he was going to call you..." My boss, like Schmandrew, also likes to talk. A lot. Working with the two of them has had an interesting effect on me. I'm usually a very talkative outgoing person, especially at work. But getting so frustrated at their chitter chatter all day while I'm trying to work has pushed me to rebel in a most obvious way- I am quiet. I am very quiet. So much so that they think I'm shy. Me. Shy. All this quiet is probably the reason I started this ...

Subject: Mini Kiss just ate the last bagel

In 2005 I was living the high (mediocre) life in the city of Angels, L.A. working in this business we (they, or someone) called show. I wasn't just working in television, I was working in live television. And as if that wasn't enough of a chaotic setting for a great story for you, I also happened to be working for the first (yes, FIRST EVER) GLBTQ television network, appropriately called: Q Television Network with absolutely no experience. The details of how I found myself living in LA as a fresh college senior dropout from the tiny little hipster hotspot of Denton, TX will come later; because rest assured, I had no lifelong desire to work in production. I was a poetry major after all. On this particular sunny day I'm sitting in my office, with my staff (yes, at 23 I had a STAFF! Small, but still...) when I receive an email on my Sidekick. The sender was Jon, a new friend I'd made who worked in acquisitions. The subject was: Mini Kiss just ate the last bagel. The b...

Adventures in Un-stored Phone Numbers, Episode 1

I have mentioned before that I have a really hard time taking care of small, delicate things. I have a propensity to drop them, and in my younger, more alcohol-infused days I had a propensity to throw them at anyone who irritated the hell out of me. Or anyone that was sitting where I wanted to sit. Or wearing a similar outfit to mine. But mostly, I just tend to epically drop things (epically = at least two stories of free fall, preferably onto hardwood or concrete) Because I annihilate cell phones so often I have become accustomed to answering un-stored numbers, because *most* of the time it's a friend. Every now and then I get a gorgeous gem of dysfunctional dialogue that is worth sharing. I present to you Episode 1 of "Adventures in Un-stored Phone Numbers" All sentences in italics represent my internal monologue and should be read as such. Even this one. Episode 1, "Lisa unintentionally oversteps her bounds" INT. ANGELA'S APT - EARLY AFTERNOON. I am sitt...