Shit. Is it Gay Pride month already?

Yesterday President Barack Obama proclaimed June 2011 as national LGBT Pride Month.

"Each June, we commemorate the courageous individuals who have fought to achieve this promise for LGBT Americans, and we rededicate ourselves to the pursuit of equal rights for all, regardless of sexual orientation or gender identity."

seriously, I LOVE costumes. LOVE them!

I'm not going to lie. I like outrageous glamor in sweltering summer heat, I love glitter in place of a shirt, and I sure as shit love drinking in broad daylight with thousands of my ~~drunkest~~ closest friends. You'd think that I would want to LIVE in a gay pride parade. And by any other name I would want to. I'd celebrate surviving 24 hours in this very manner. But June of every year isn't set apart to celebrate glitter and Absolut vodka, (contrary to the belief of many gays under the age of 22). It's not about hooking up with that hottie in gold feathers next to you. No, believe it or not we are supposed to be commemorating the Stone Wall Riots. Since most of my ~~friends~~ readers are not gay (or any other letter) I'm going to endeavor to post 30 pieces of gay history this month.

For my first piece of history I'll start small: President Bill Clinton was the first to proclaim June as National Gay Pride month on June 2, 2000. The next President to do so was Pres. Barack Obama in 2009.

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Things to know before becoming friends with me in real life: A cursory user's guide.

I have wished for a very long time that people came with model-specific user guides. A helpful "Best Practices in maintaining friendship" if you will, and more importantly a cautionary list of "Best-not-to's". In an effort to encourage the documentation of these things by the people I love, I have endeavored to compile a warning label user guide to being friends with me. I'll start with the basic warnings 1. Never give me a key to your house. Sure I'll walk your dog/feed your cat/ probably water your plants. But is it really worth it if you have me show up occasionally at 7:30am on Saturday morning because no one else is awake and I know I can literally shake you out of bed to have breakfast with me? Sure it is! 3 out of 397 facebook friends agree/can't get their key back from me. Side note: should you actually give me a copy of your house key it is best to make it an obnoxious color or print that I can easily associate with you. I've got ...

Jesus take the wheel

Last night, after valeting cars in subfreezing temperatures I endeavored to drive myself home during what can only be called a blizzsaster – hey, I'm a Texan. Any amount of precipitation (frozen or not) wreaks havoc on all living things here. We just can't cope. My valet job had me in Arlington, Texas and after my shift I had to get my frozen self home to Oak Cliff , which is a little over 20 miles away. My coworker also lives in the OC (don't call it that) so she used her iPhone to find the path of least resistance for us. You may be wondering why we didn't just get a hotel near the job site. Well, there's a very logical explanation for that. Jerry Jones made a pact with the devil and has promised the beast the soul of every Dallasite that is not a football fan. With no room at any inn, coworker and I began the slow crouch toward home. At the very first stop light we encountered we learned two valuable lessons. 1) You need about 20 feet to stop in 4 inches of sn...

Adventures in Un-stored Phone Numbers, Episode 1

I have mentioned before that I have a really hard time taking care of small, delicate things. I have a propensity to drop them, and in my younger, more alcohol-infused days I had a propensity to throw them at anyone who irritated the hell out of me. Or anyone that was sitting where I wanted to sit. Or wearing a similar outfit to mine. But mostly, I just tend to epically drop things (epically = at least two stories of free fall, preferably onto hardwood or concrete) Because I annihilate cell phones so often I have become accustomed to answering un-stored numbers, because *most* of the time it's a friend. Every now and then I get a gorgeous gem of dysfunctional dialogue that is worth sharing. I present to you Episode 1 of "Adventures in Un-stored Phone Numbers" All sentences in italics represent my internal monologue and should be read as such. Even this one. Episode 1, "Lisa unintentionally oversteps her bounds" INT. ANGELA'S APT - EARLY AFTERNOON. I am sitt...

Angela Types

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