Skip to main content

Adventures in Craig's List

I have gotten 5 emails from people telling me how funny my craig's list ad was...but not one person actually wanted to buy my damn couch! I also updated the ad to say "text with questions about the couch only" because people were texting me...but not about the couch.
Here's the ad. Seriously, let me know if you want to buy my awesome brown couch. It's totally not disgusting.


GOOD USED COUCH FROM NON-DISGUSTING PREVIOUS OWNER - $275 (Oak Cliff)


Date: 2011-03-27, 6:42PM CDT
Reply to: sale-ykfvb-2290121083@craigslist.org [Errors when replying to ads?]


Do you want a used couch that isn't totally freaking disgusting? do you need to save money on a couch but don't want to buy something that is riddled with someone else's germs, spills, secretions, and un-lint-rollable pet hair? LOOK NO FURTHER! I have the couch for you! I am a completely normal person who used the couch for occasional sitting. And when I say occasional, I mean that! I do not even own a television so no one has parked their butt on it for 12 hours straight eating lord knows what and getting gross crumbs all over.

This couch has NEVER been used for, ahem, escapades of an "intimate" nature. That's what the bedroom is for, not the awesome brown couch you see below! Rest assured that if your budget is tight and you want a nice couch from a non freaky environment THIS COUCH IS FOR YOU.

About the couch:

Brown Micro fiber couch, classic/modern look. Less than a year old, from non smoking house with no stains. Two matching throw pillows. Cushions are attached at the back.

Dimensions (to the best of my tape measuring ability)
86 inches wide
36 inches deep (from wall to front edge of couch)
31 inches tall (floor to top of back cushions)

About the previous owner:
Professional, non-weirdo who likes this clean couch but does not need it. I'm a corgi-mix owner (you can see him in the lower right corner of one of the photos) There is a pet couch cover not pictured here, so it's been kept clean of pet schmutz and fur.

text with questions about the couch only.
123-456-7890
*NUMBER REMOVED BECAUSE I SERIOUSLY JUST WANT TO SELL THE COUCH.
Leave a comment if you want it! Dallas, TX only. Or...shipping on your dime! :)







Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Subject: Mini Kiss just ate the last bagel

In 2005 I was living the high (mediocre) life in the city of Angels, L.A. working in this business we (they, or someone) called show. I wasn't just working in television, I was working in live television. And as if that wasn't enough of a chaotic setting for a great story for you, I also happened to be working for the first (yes, FIRST EVER) GLBTQ television network, appropriately called: Q Television Network with absolutely no experience. The details of how I found myself living in LA as a fresh college senior dropout from the tiny little hipster hotspot of Denton, TX will come later; because rest assured, I had no lifelong desire to work in production. I was a poetry major after all. On this particular sunny day I'm sitting in my office, with my staff (yes, at 23 I had a STAFF! Small, but still...) when I receive an email on my Sidekick. The sender was Jon, a new friend I'd made who worked in acquisitions. The subject was: Mini Kiss just ate the last bagel. The b...

No sign of a struggle

When I return home from work Bruce greets me in a manic explosion of joyous wailing, jumping, and kisses. I sometimes imagine him at home with his well used worry beads, licking them all day long. "Will she ever return? Where is she? How long has she been gone? Why can't I tell how long it's been?!" I let him outside and he keeps an eye on me while he's marking this tree. I see him twitch his nose, look down at the ground and actually jump away as if screaming "What the f*&k is this?!" I walk over to investigate and there's this rat staring up at us. Bruce is by the front door at this point, he's abandoned me. Woman’s best friend my ass. Like any god (and rat) fearing American, I grab a stick and poke it. It's dead but it looks alive. I poke it a little more so I can see if it's missing any parts, or search for some cause of death. Bupkiss. It looks young; around my age in rat years. So, old age shouldn't be the cause. I C...